The Rolls Royce of shoe horns has completed its test drive...

Snail shoe horn

Wall hanging tree frog shoe horn

Lately I love putting sneakers on, perhaps more than anyone else alive!

I've been using my extra long tree frog shoe horn most days.
I whip it off the wall to slide into my sneakers, but it feels so nice to hold I usually swing it about a bit before hanging it back up!

I might even chase Meridee about with it if she happens to be passing at the time!

It feels great to hold. Nice and  heavy, with perfect balance since the heavy frog is at the grasping end, a bit like the pommel on a sword.

Edition of 25. The dark shape at the bottom of this picture is to the top of the slot for wall hanging.

The snail shoe horn sits neatly on the mantel, and when I'm planning to squeeze my plates of meat into my sneakers whilst sitting, I whip my snail off its stand and take care of business that way.

One of the most fun things about being an artist for me is that I can make things for myself that otherwise  I'd have to be Bill Gates, or Warren Buffet, or Richard Branson, Sir Alan Sugar or Donald Trump to own.

In fact I had to sit my Walmart shoe horn down in the board room earlier today, for a little chat...

'Walmart shoe horn...

It's not that you're not doing a fine job.

You are.
You get my sneakers on very nicely.

You're nice and long, with a flexible spring. I never had to lean down at all.

That string in your  handle lets me dangle you from anything.

You're as light as a feather, and thinner than my new bronze shoe horns.
You've always slid between heel and shoe with no trouble at all.

But you're cheap.

You look cheap, you're bendy, and you're no fun to hold.

Once I've got my sneakers on, I can't wait to drop you like a hot potato.

Just take a look at my Rolls Royce of shoe horns.
Either one.
I can't bear to put them down.

Why couldn't you be more like that?

Walmart shoe horn, I'm left with no choice.

Get out.

YOU'RE FIRED!'

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Click HERE to see all shoe horn related posts (making of, etc).
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